HeartBreaking
No one should ever have to do this
Grieving really badly!!
So i spent an hour in my room today letting the tears flow out…. i still don’t understand, and i probably never will and that scares me.. i also spent some of the day reading some of Palmer’s old posts all the way back to Jennifer -man it hurts- i have one more day until i get to spend most wanted time with my dear friends in Cinci at the BrownHouse… i hate being home bored because it keeps my mind hurting and whirling with questions-ideas-confusion-and so much more. aarrgghh i need u all… -can’t wait-
Little Bean
This is what Palmer read at Jennifer’s Memorial Service and i thought it would be appropriate to read at his….. well if i tried to read it i probably wouldn’t be able to get it all out without being in flowing tears..
So just making sure if i didn’t read it there u would be able to still read it.. he said ‘’he wanted people to be moved by the truth contained in it’ — if u want to see a priceless pic of Micah and Palmer go here
little bean(please read amy palmer this makes me hurt so much…keep praying for her)
Prudentius: Hymn For Burial Of The Dead
“We are incompatible elements joined,
mortal and immmortal. They fuse
in the heat of the Lords forge. Mankind
is fashioned thus. For a time it stays
but the weld, which cannot hold, gives way,
for spirit yearns to rise to the sky
while flesh, which is earth, is drawn to obey
gravity’s stern decree. We die,
and our contrary portions come undone,
but God is good and even yet
will not abandon anyone
who is His servant. Bodies rot
in congeniual mire, and in the grave
the spirit is trapped that, lighter, fights
to rise, assert itself, and live.
For a time, the universe hesitates
but flesh feels a sudden warming. Then
those cold bones twitch and corpses sigh,
reanimated, and rise again,
borne by the heavenly breezes, to fly.
This life is all decline and loss,
fading beauty, waning strength,
and wasting diseases, leaving us
piteous ruins, and yet at length
heaven shall make us whole, repair
our derelict frames, restore, improve,
and make us perfect everywhere.
Why do we mourn, then, those we love
with foolish lamentations? No,
no tears! What we bury here in the earth
is only the seed from which will grow
a fresh green plant. In this rebirth
we cannot doubt, for we believe
in heaven. We gaze down into a hole
in the gentle earth that we see receive
our dead, who issued, body and soul,
from the mouth of God. In faith and trust
we commit to Him who does not forget
His creatures these remains, that dust
the winds may scatter but God shall yet
revive and reassemble. We
will live again and breath His breathe…”
This song is so amazing…. Take the time and really read them through….If you want to listen to the song go to eric keck’s blog site
I am so happy that i get to have support from the people i love by seeing them all this weekend. But why is God making this the reason we are seeing each other, i would die to see the keck’s anytime, but why does it have to be because of these sad circumstances… i am just confused about how i should feel right now: right now i’m just accepting (well almost accepting) that I’m am grieving very badly… I miss him so much already… i look forward to seeing you all this weekend. love and prayers abound…
little bean
Here are some Pics just to add to some of the ones of Palmer…. Nothing can beat that Motorcycle One!!
I keep seeing his smile in my head… Just click on the Text….
Woke up this morning feeling good, read Celtic Prayers, reflected the weekend my dad got to have with Palmer and me with volleyball. 9: 30 dad crying hugging me telling me Palmer died. He told me you have to think of this in a different way. His suffering battle is over. He gets to live in eternal happiness now. Its just so sad (but that doesn’t even say) that such a great man like him who helped us all with our communities and our lives he isn’t here anymore to keep helping he won’t be at the BrownHouse. I guess in a way he can be said to be here with us but it will never be the same. Palmer gave and gives me so much hope. Life isn’t lived to make us happy or to be comfortable. Life needs Beauty, Hope, Love, Spirit, The People or the Relationships. Having this event in my life having Palmer in my life and my family helps me to see the real beauty or truth in things and in life. Can’t really say much more. Pray Pray Pray for Amy and Micah!! Pray for the Landing PLace community pray for the Brownhouse community. pray for all.
Just got home from Columbus, Ohio. I was there for a big volleyball tournament called Mid-East Qualifiers.It was really fun and we didn’t do half bad. I am really tired and really sore though so trying to heal from that. otherwise I’m the most happy person ever because I’m on Spring Break and this Thursday its off to D.C!!! I can’t write anymore right now, I’m just extremely tired. Love you all and I’m still working on being ‘Available and Vulnerable.’
(I f eel really bad I just counted how many times I used the word ‘I’ in that post….)
This is a oil painting done by John Waterhouse. He is my all time favorite Artist. This is called ‘Boreas.’ I think it is just so truly amazing that someone actually painted this. This is true beauty. This gift God gave this man is true beauty! Please Enjoy.
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