Hey if you go to this site. You can see the volleyball team i made for my Club Travel. Its a pretty cool club. I get to travel to like texas, minnesota and a lot more places. It shows a picture and the roster.. i made the 2 team out of 3 teams.you can see the one team but they are definetly not as good as us.take a peak..(Look at the height of all the girls) WE’RE BEASTS..ha
http://www.capitolsportscenter.com/ccvbc/15_black.asp
The title gives alot about what im feeling right now. Although im still a little lost. This year has probably been the worst year of my life but also the best. 3 people that i was very dear to and that my family was very dear to passed. Me and my sister were in our first car accident. The walk out at v-ball practice. And i don’t know if i was supposed to post this but my mom also got in a car accident and its likely we won’t see that car again. But even though all these horrible things have happened i’ve grown more in this year than any year i think in my life. For instance Palmer’s wake, and Chad’s wake. I met amazing people like Keck, and bishop, and evans. I grew closer to these people in ways i never thought imaginable. With my car accident, i learned the value of trust. Even though its hard to drive in the car alone with my sis now, i’ve got this new trust with her. I know she loves me and always will. With my mom’s accident. I just don’t know what to think. It was pretty scary, and i realize sometimes i treat her like crap and she definetly does not deserve that.
Life has changed for me so much this year. School is so different. Hard, the people, the teachers its all very different. What i realized though is this year is soon going to be over. It will be 2007 and i think im ready for it. It’ll be weird but i know its gonna be awesome. It’ll be hard going through all the horrible months we went through but that only made me stronger.
I just want to say thank you to all who have helped me personally or my family. We’ve gone through alot this year, and we owe it to you all for keeping us going.
Have an awesome Christmas…
Make love not war!!….!!…!!
I’ve been thinking alot lately about palmer’s wake awhile ago. Its weird or not really weird but its like everytime i go to the Brownhouse i feel like a high, like im in this for good. I want to do this i want to live with God forever and never give him up. And i do believe that i want that but its just does not come easy. Whenever im there it always seems to come easily. I don’t know it just never last when i come back home. I get thrown back into reality. I remeber when i came home from the brownhouse after going when Chad passed and meeting Keck and evans and bishop for the first time that was pretty awesome. But i can remeber coming home and feeling so empty. I don’t know what it was. I wasn’t sad i wasn’t happy mad or whatever. I was just confused. I remeber one night my mom caught me in tears and asked me to talk with her, and it all just came out. I wanted to be back in Cinci and it wasn’t the whole i wanna live with my best friend thing but i really wanted to be there. I already missed the keck and their family. When i was there i was myself. I was who i wanted to be. The people there are amazing and so helpful. I told her that i don’t understand why God would give us people that we respect so much or who help us so much, and then he make it that we all live like across the world from each other. I just didn’t get it and i still sort of don’t. But i moved on. And then when my mom told me about Palmer. Thats when i was really confused. A man like him was gone. What was that. I’ve also grown from them and i believe that many other people have also. When i was at this wake i got the chance to meet some LP people like Jen who i now know even better, and the rest of the keck family and many more people. It was growing time and i also was able to be myself. Especially one night that can never i don’t think be ever put down in words. But i was myself… who i want to be.
But when i came or ever come home, its different. Except for the fact of my family. They are the best to me. and i would not be complete at all without them. They comfort me with that sense i get at the brownhouse. But the minute im not with them. its reality. and i don’t know how to handle myself. I go to school and its hard to be who i want to be. Right now God just doesn’t seem to fit into my schedule…. and right now saying that hurts like i can’t even tell. I want to give God all that he deserves. He kept me and my sister safe, he keeps my family and my friends safe. Im just confused on how to do this. Its harder when you get older. Why can’t we be young forever…
I just wanted to share with you guys whats going on in my head right now. A little of what im trying to sort out.
But i want to give a special shout out to my family. Thanks… no words can describe how much my heart really loves you. No matter how many times i try to be right or whatever else i do to you. i love you. love love love you.
I hope everyone has an awesome christmas, enjoy yourself for awhile.
Make love not war!!!
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